Being American...

Being American…
As my time abroad draws to an end I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about personal growth…who I was, who I’ve become and who I want to become.

Of course our personal image of ourselves is influenced by comments from others and by the way in which they interact with us, but we see ourselves in a different light. It may be similar. It may not be.
For example, I never considered myself to have blond hair before I went to Peru, but there I was always described as having “pelo rubio.” I thought of myself as average in stature, but in Peru I was tall. Here in Germany I am short.

I asked myself with which categories I would identify myself.

The first first things that came to my mind were: Christian, young, Bodlak, and grew up on a farm.
-Christian because my faith in Christ as my savior is important to me.
-young because statistically speaking, I still have a lot of life to live and am always thinking about all my opportunities for the future.
-Bodlak because my family is a huge part of my life and the person I am.
-Grew up on a farm because the more I encounter people who have only lived in a city, the more I realize I tend to have different values than them, and the more time I spend living in cities, the more I realize how much I need the chance to escape to calm, quiet, wide-open, green spaces.

I would say that the number one category I’ve been placed into throughout this year is the category “American.” When I think about this, thoughts rush through my head, so quickly that I cannot even begin to write them all down—random thoughts, silly things, serious topics, misconceptions, and blessings. Sometimes I’m thankful to be an American; other times I hate it.

I am blessed that English is my first language. What others study for and try to master, I simply know and don’t have to work at. But on the other side of things, it how can I be proud of that? It wasn’t by my choice that I was born in the United States, that I would grow up speaking a language with many irregularities that others must struggle to learn. Sometimes it is frustration when I want to learn another language, because everyone around me speaks English and sometimes it would be easier to just speak English with them. Sometimes I can’t understand them. Sometimes I get frustrated, because they have mastered two or more languages and speaking English is practice for them, but for me it is not.

I am blessed. At home, I can expect warm water to flow out of the faucet when I turn it on. Even though I don’t like going outside by myself at night, I can do that safely. I don’t need to live in fear. I can trust my neighbors. I can trust the officials. Bars are not necessary on the doors and windows of my home. I am respected and treated as another human being regardless of my hair, skin, or eye color. I’m so blessed to have been born in the United States, a land truly full of opportunities. Opportunities on some level for everyone, not just for the elite. I could go to and complete elementary and high school. I have the chance to be a part of that tiny percentage of the world’s population who get continue their beyond the high school level. I admittedly forget that sometimes when I have a lot of homework or have to study for an exam and just feel like complaining. But I am blessed. I do not have to worry about where food or water will come from. Quality medical attention is available. I have clothes for every season of the year. I am blessed. I’ve had the opportunity to be exposed to a variety of cultures and values- an opportunity not available everywhere.

Being American. Sometimes it is nice to be able to see or hear things in English, to see stores and restaurants from back home, to be able to say things like “ok” because it has become a globally recognized and accepted word. Sometimes people think it’s cool. Sometimes people want to know if I’ve been to Hollywood and New York City.

Being American. Sometimes it’s super frustrating. Everyone knows something about my country. Many think they know it all. Being American. Am I that? I don’t know everything about the United States. I haven’t seen that much of it myself. I grew up in Nebraska and study there. Why does that have to make me "American?" I feel like even though I don’t know everything about the USA, I do know more than most people who have never lived there. Can I be both American and Nebraskan? I think so, but here, only the American part of me can be recognized by the people who I meet. Most have never even heard of Nebraska. So…as an “American,” I must face the questions and the statements; whether truth or misconceptions.

Sometimes when someone approaches me to talk about my country, the American in me asks:
Why does my government always get involved in other nations’ business? Are we heroes or are we villains? Do we even have a culture? Well, certainly we do. But how can I explain it? All Americans are not superficial, in fact most aren’t. We just have different values and different ways of expressing ourselves. Yes, on the whole we are very wasteful and we don’t recognize the many blessings that we have.

The American in me cries out:
All Americans are not ignorant. The entire United States is not just like everything that one sees in the movies and on shows. No, just because I come from the United States does not mean that I should be familiar with every single movie, show, singer, and song that comes from or is produced in the United States.

We need a new name for ourselves…why do we call ourselves “Americans” when the inhabitants of an entire 2 continents are really “Americans?”

Other things I have found funny:
-Do American kids really ride big yellow buses to school? Can I drive? And the question while talking to an 11th grade class about the United States and after asking which part of the US I lived in, one kid asked, “Since you live so far away from civilization, do you have TV’s?” Or one thing that I have experienced a few times and find really humorous, when someone wants to hold my jacket and help me put it on, and I kindly tell them, thanks but that it is not necessary and I can do it for myself. All the while, thoughts like this are running through my head, “Haha. Ok, that was kind of nice, but strange. I am a capable human being. Yes, I am a woman, but I can put on my own jacket.” Other such instances, where I felt like my independence was being restricted although, that was by no means the intent, have included the offer to carry super light things for me, to help me step out of a train, and to bring me a chair to sit, even though everyone else was standing! Oh, and the German idea of Line Dancing and their fascination with cowboys and the “Wild West.”

This past year I’ve seen and experienced many things that I had not expected. I have learned many things about others, academically, and about myself. But I can also confirm the statement, that the more you know, the more you know, you know, you don’t know.

A few pictures...

Dachau (city):





Going to the theater to see Don Quixote de La Mancha:




Munich:

Should people visit Dachau?

This thought crossed my mind while visiting the Dachau Conentration Camp, when our guide told us that it is mandatory for a students in Bavaria to visit the camp. Dachau was one of the first concentration camps and at some level had every form of prisoner and method of torture. Pastors and priest who spoke out against the National Socialist German Worker's Party were held here. Jews, physically handicapped, mentally handicapped, Roma and Sinti were held here. Political protestors including Georg Elser, the man with the most ingenious and earliest assasination attempt on the Führer, was also held here. Tens of thousands of people died in Dachau because of it's conditions, yet it was not an extermination/death camp. It's primary goal was to make the lives of it's captives miserable, but to get work out of them.

The land on which the camp was located is now a site for historical learning and remembrance. Stories of individuals who were tortured in Dachau can be heard and read there. A few of the original buildings that housed the prisoners still stand. The others no longer stand, but their foundations can still be seen. The cells where the victims were tortured, the crematoriums, the gas chamber (which was primarily used for experimental purposes) the door claiming "Arbeit Macht Frei" and the gloominess of the place remain. Besides for a blue sky and the colorful leaves of the trees outside of Dachau's enfenced area, nearly everything was colorless- grey, white, light shades of brown.

Learning about the past is important, but events such as those that occured at Dachau are overwhelming. Seeing this enormous concentration camp, learning about the lives of individuals who suffered there as well as those who carried out the deeds, was truly overwhelming, but I am glad I was there. It allows me to better understand the reality of the situation and put it into a more acurate perspective. With basic background knowledge of the history of this camp, I think it is a good thing for students and others to visit the camp.

Bureaucracy...

According to Webster's Dictionary, the third definition under "bureaucracy" is "a system of administration marked by officialism, red tape, and proliferation."

Officialism: Paper. Request. Paper. Wait. Take a number. Wait. New room. Paper. Photo. Paper. Wait. Take a number. Wait. New room. Interrogation. Paper review. Please come back another time. ... Wait. Take a number. Wait. Paper. Paper. Paper.

Red Tape: The papers appear to be correct and ready. Oh wait! You've been here before. You are in the system. Wait. Wait. Pay. Come back another day.

Proliferation: Stand in line. Take a number. Wait in a lounge. Sit in an office. Have papers examined. Fill out more papers. Repeat. Stand in line. Take a number. Wait in a lounge. Sit in an office. Have papers examined. Fill out more papers. Repeat. Stand in line. Take a number. Wait in a lounge. Sit in an office. Have papers examined. Fill out more papers. Repeat. Stand in line. Take a number. Wait in a lounge. Sit in an office. Have papers examined. Fill out more papers. Please come back again.

I am most certainly not a fan, especially when all I want is a visa for an extra month.

I enjoy...

I enjoy going for walks though Munich especially through the Englischer Garten, which is beautiful with the fall leaves.

I enjoy going to the city center in the evenings and listening to mini-concerts in the streets.

I enjoy running along the Isar (river).

I enjoy my class.

I enjoy reading in the cemetery, so quiet and beautiful.

I enjoy cooking.

I enjoy exploring new parts of the city.

I enjoy seeing theatrical productions.

I enjoy getting mail.

Munich...

I was a bit bewildered when I arrived in Munich’s enormous train station, with so many people and so many options for transportation. I had the address of the apartment in which I would be staying, but couldn’t quite remember how the public transportation system here worked, so wasn’t sure where I needed to purchase a ticket. In the meantime, I saw an unbelievable number of women in dirndl dresses and men in lederhosen and wondered if that was merely because of Oktoberfest or if that really was slightly normal. Eventually I took the S-Bahn and Straßenbahn and found the apartment. By that point I was tired and sweaty and wanted nothing more than to do nothing. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone or going anywhere or even like unpacking my things. I did, however; do all three of those things. I spoke with the owner of the apartment briefly, unpacked my things, showered and headed off to the nearest S-Bahn stop to go to the Theresien-Wiese to see the second-to-last evening of Oktoberfest.

Oktoberfest was very different from how I had imagined it to be. The beer tents were much larger, fancier and colorful than I had pictured them and I had also not counted on so many rides such as at a fair or carnival. Wandering around and observing many of the people there in their traditional outfits, with their beer, pretzels and sausages made for an amusing first evening in Munich.




I have my own room here in an apartment and share the kitchen and bathroom with a woman and her son. My room is really comfortable and it is nice to be able to have peace and quiet when I want it, but it feels like an awkward situation. I live here, but there is really no contact with either of the other two people. There is no living room and they are never in the kitchen when I am around. I scarcely see them and am lucky to exchange 2 words with them throughout a day.

I enjoy my class at the Goethe Institut here in Munich much more. I have an excellent teacher, so although I have afternoon class rather than in the mornings, it is much more bearable. I wish I would have had a teacher like him in Göttingen. I truly believe that I learned more in the first one or two days here than I did during my entire previous two months.

On Tuesday morning I decided to register myself with my new address here in Munich and to try to get my visa, but after spending 4 hours going from office to office I was told to come back in a week, with a paper saying how many hours a week I am taking classes. That was kind of frustrating, but it makes me understand all the more clearly how frustrating it is for some people trying to get US visas, which can be much more difficult to come by and much more time consuming.

This morning I went to the Deutsches Museum, which is the largest technical museum in the world. I found the musical area with one of the world’s first Jupeboxes, which is really like an enormous music box that plucks tiny keys and while gears and propellers spin, and the aeronautics section with many of the first successful flying machines.



There is so much to see here. Little by little, I shall see more of this city.

Between train stations…

I left Göttingen on the morning of Wednesday September 29, with far too much luggage. Funny how things accumulate over the course of a year- luxury items, such as books, and necessary things such as laundry detergent, cooking supplies, and shampoo. Fortunately morning and mid-day trains in the middle of the week in Lower Saxony are not in high demand, so I did not had no problem maneuvering in the train stations or in the trains.

I arrived in Cloppenburg and waited for my former host family to come pick me up, since they were taking my host cousin to that same train station a few hours after my arrival. I spent a few enjoyable days in Spahnharrenstätte. I was able to go running on fairly flat terrain in familiar territory and to stop by the flower shop where I had done a practicum nearly three years earlier. I spent my evenings with friends drinking tea and eating ice-cream as well as one evening with my host sisters and their current Finnish exchange student watching movies. One of my sisters and I delivered newspapers on Saturday afternoon. It was kind of a strange feeling placing the newspapers in the same newspaper mail boxes that I used to put them in every Sunday morning 3 years ago.

Sunday morning, on the day of German Unification, my host mother took me took me to the train station in Lathen, from which I departed for Munich. I was a little nervous about making all of my connections, because I had little time, but everything worked out. I am so thankful that I had reserved seats in the ICE and EC trains because it made life so much easier, just finding my seat, sitting down, and not having anyone come along and tell me that I needed to move and find a new seat. On my final train, I had my first encounter with a Bayrisch-speaker. Very difficult to understand, but doable with a lot of concentration!